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Mike, a 49-year-old mechanic, cut straight to the chase. I quickly ducked below the window and turned off my phone.

He pointed out that we were no more than a couple of minutes apart.‘On my lunch break,’ he messaged. After my alarming start, I decided I’d have to play detective to stay safe.

When I asked why, Dave’s profile instantly disappeared.

Clearly, I was going to have to keep my wits about me. When I first dated 30 years ago, we’d shyly share a warm Bacardi and coke and talk about Duran Duran.

His profile picture showed a stool painted with the words: ‘The Naughty Spot.’ His ideal Tinder date, he revealed straightaway, was a ‘strict auntie’ to give him a ‘guiding hand’. I was two weeks and hundreds of swipes in, and I’d still not had a single, genuine date with an honest man. As I kept swiping, it became clear that the more mature men of Tinder fall into a few distinct categories.

Then there was Mark, who wanted to meet me with ‘the wife’ — pictured with her face obscured, but not much else. There are the bachelors posing with cars or speed boats, the men wearing suits that varied in quality from Savile Row to Burton, but who all wanted to imply they were CEOs.

To deter time-wasters, I tried to be as specific about what I was looking for in a man as possible: someone with a good sense of humour who would share my love of Eighties music.

As a more mature woman, I also made it plain I didn’t appreciate being called ‘babe’, ‘sweetie’, ‘princess’, ‘my lovely’, ‘cutie’, or ‘hun’ and that I was not in the market for one-night stands. It felt like going shopping with no limit on my card.

Claire says: ‘I’d hoped to meet some decent men in their 50s, someone with whom I could enjoy a conversation or a meal out.‘But it was horrendous and I’ve found that it’s zapped my confidence and made me feel a lot more anxious about the future.‘I’ve been shocked by the number of men who think it’s acceptable to send you pictures of their private parts.‘One man started sending me lewd messages, asking me what I’d like sexually.

While criticised by many for its commodification of sex and relation-ships, Tinder continues to grow exponentially.

Earlier this month, it was reported that the four-times divorced actress Patsy Kensit, 49, had added her name to the dating pot.

So when super-muscled Dave popped up, saying he was a member of an elite Army regiment on a secret mission to the Middle East, I decided to do some digging.

I asked for his email address and used it to track down his IP address — the unique number that identifies the network on which an email is sent — and found that his message had come from Russia.

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